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Body Shaming In Ghana



We don't need irrelevant jabs in our society

The phenomenon of body shaming is one that has recently plagued our society. Until recently, body shaming seemed alien to Africans, as stories of how people were being bullied and emotionally abused were only heard of the Americas, Europe and other such places. Africans had a different story, as people of various body shapes and types enjoyed and felt good about their bodies and were appreciated for their thick, heavy backside, among others. The story, however, is different of late. 

Body shaming is not a problem that has only hit our streets of Ghana, but one that almost gotten a permanent place in every facet of our society. In our schools, our kids and siblings are being bullied and called ‘fat’ and ugly, derogatorily. 

At our work places, colleagues are dieting because of body shaming. Sometimes, even in our places of worship, people feel unwelcome because they fear the unpleasant comments they receive about their bodies. Sadly, we have not sat to examine the harsh consequences of this. While body shaming is said to be faced by both male and female, statistics show that women turn to be the most victimized, in this regard.

According to a survey conducted by Yahoo Health, it takes women half their lifetime to feel just half of the body confidence teenage boys experience in adolescence. Even though the survey focused on Americans, the case may be said as indifferent in Ghana.

It is worth noting that body shaming is not only when people make fun about your belly, or buttocks, and breasts, but any part of one’s body that is mocked is being shamed. From head to toe. “See her body like boafloat”. Your breasts like that of old ladies. “Your stomach like something”. “Do you have six packs?” “Don’t mind him, his big head like ball”. Familiar with these phrases? If you’ve ever said such or similar to people, you don’t know the great harm you’ve caused.  I know high school students who have resorted to fasting on almost daily basis, only because they were told they looked fat and ugly.

The experience, as I have noticed, is not only extremely depressing but causes great health issues. My friend of about twenty years has desperately taken up a two week ‘course’ to change her look. I have seen at firsthand how this ‘course’ is taking a great toll on her. She’s malnourished. While she might be losing weight, she is changing into something else.

The chief contributor to this problem, I believe, is the media. Look at the all these body sprays and cosmetic ads on TV. What kind of impression do they seek to make when all we see is well built, muscled, six packed people, and how they are energized and refreshed by such products. The implicit message is that, such is the ideal body.

All others need to ‘fix’ themselves. For the input of social media, the least said, the better. You remember Rashida Black Beauty? Anytime she messes up, all people talk about is her fallen breasts and what have you. The media shapens thoughts, and its influence cannot be understated. And all these quick fix weight loss people haven’t helped as well.

Why have we created this unnecessary standard for ourselves? We have created a standard that has seen many avoid food, with the aim of losing weight. Unnecessary fasting. The resulting effect being that many have contracted ailments like stomach ulcer, any yet, there’s no change in their bodies. ‘Did we go or did we come’, as they literally say in Ga.

Why have we made people feel insecure about themselves? We have robbed them of their confidence and now they are ‘dying’ slowly, only because you said her body is not fine, according to your standard. Don’t get me wrong, I am no way saying getting fit is wrong, but if we have make people feel bad about their body to such an extent that they feel ‘not belonging’ to us any longer, we’ve done no good. We have not helped.

Let’s make a U-Turn from this point. Body shaming is a big deal. People might not be committing suicide about it now, but our comments of people’s bodies might the gradually sending them to their early grave. When you think about mocking the bodies of others, remember the young ‘macho’ man we buried recently. He had all the abs and muscles, but he’s dust now. By all means, make efforts to be fit, but do not let your quest to be fit be in the interest of those who call you names and shame your body.

Our friends in the media, carefully scrutinize what you share on air and online. We’re already battling many diseases. Let us save our young the early hypertension due to our undue pressure and stress. Save our young. Save our colleagues. And save our future.  #SocietyCanGetBetter

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The Toils Of Getting A Lady To Fall In Love

Abdur Rahman Odoi Anum Pobee



Reading his radar from afar,
he thought his gazes had resonated her.
Hoping to have triggered her intuitiveness
What he believes to be a latent affection
Born out of a Profound love
What Paramour couldn’t conceive.

Sadly, its germination has stifled
Because he knows not how to get it sprouted

Thus, she isn’t tickled
Her condition and his aren’t intertwined
Defining the tempestuous times of Laryea
Propagating it isn’t yielding
So he has been circumventing
She has also tarried and watching.

He burns his hands while cooking   
Laundry expenses are sobbingly accumulating
Washing is hectically tedious
Wringing the dirty jeans alone often strenuous
Now thinking of stinting bachelorship
But Lucretia isn’t yearning for any courtship 
Looking at the cosy weather lately at night, His ‘Kofi manu’ only hits no woman but pillow.

Rotating to different bearing isn’t navigable Workplace is uncomfortable
And home too is voidable

Mustn’t Lucretia wipe his tear?
Wouldn’t that endear?
Laryea wants to trend goodly with her
Strolling with their baby in the stroller
Atswei would be jealous
She zealously desire women only
She rejoices whenever ladies object Laryea
That’s just a fraction of her shenanigans 

Being loving is kinda heavy duty for Lucretia

The only brainy woman in the enclave
Unfazed about Laryea’s love turmoil
She only focuses on voluminous books.
Can’t Laryea take his looks off her?
An ominous perception of a concerned woman
Raising 50k for a flamboyant wedding
That’s what he was told to estimate
Only to guesstimate consulting a spiritualist
But he has to bait his ‘kofi manu’
Indeed, a hustler’s ambition

Lucretia’s mood is pretty unconcerned
Neither talks nor walks on the tracks of Laryea
Probably, to grease his quest
So that he could stop requesting
For her smile not to compel him to be positive
That, hopefully, he will negate being oppositive
Ayorkor gossiped that he should let go off her
That, Lucretia loves nobody but only books
Not until she has completed her Mba
Then, Laryea should dream going forward

Laryea’s lamentation evokes the culture of old
Our parents tied the knot, penniless
And theirs, school wasn’t ordinariness
It is like the society’s witches are tireless
No plenty cash, no “trendy” woman
No big vocabulary, no epistolary love affair
Laryea can’t afford it, he just can’t.
Laryea’s heart beats for her only

Lucretia, think and re-strategize
If not, you could become Philophobic

Uncle Annan did his when he was square zero
No flamboyance
No Extravagance
Today is their 30th anniversary
Their children have gone to varsity
Love is the necessity
Education wouldn’t be a prerequisite
That is the irregularity of our generation
Don’t be swayed away

Just let’s trust in God’s sustenance
And consciously tie our camel
That has kept unbroken marital home alive
It is the most trustworthy handhold This is not the opportune time to be slothful
I shall work harder to do the needful
Our affluence would be completely joyful
Surely, and Poverty would be shameful

Thus, I would let go off being erratic and say to the whole world that it pays to be the sacrificial Lamb for the woman you assuredly love and adore.

Trust in Allah.


Poem by Yours Sincerely,

Abdur Rahman Odoi Anum Pobee.
All Right Reserved. ©2019

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Abdur Rahman Odoi Anum Pobee



Descending on her husband

The world for some time now had descended heavily on women in certain spheres of their lives due to the immensity of contributions they put forth to compliment that of men. There is a colossal chronicle of such events which is normally seen prior the consummation of a marriage. The rite is climaxed with a thorough one-on-one consultation by the bride’s parents, elders and even the long forgotten ancestral mores, so as to coach her on how to satisfy her husband with an impeccable and defensive approach. Still and all, more emphasis is put on these two qualities which are the bride’s cooking skills and sexual appetizers. The print media was, however, awash not long ago with an elderly woman discharging ‘1000 sense’ into her daughter who is being married, to aptly dispense it to her husband thenceforth. Tacitly, those drives are needed in any successful marital home.

In my candid view, I think a reversed consultation about womanhood had to be tabled out to the bridegroom for month’s altogether before the engagement rite is held. Some men are less concerned about the latent qualities of womanhood, so it appears despicable when those unknown attitudes of theirs loomed, and one of such is ‘nagging’. If you dialogue with our ancestors in a dream they would not mince words but rather be frank with you that no matter the amount of gifts you would vouchsafed to an ideal woman, it will never calm her nagging consciousness. If you may have indeliberately promised your little daughter a gift before; I hope you were cognizant of how she held you responsible, even though the vow was intended to compromise her robust decision of following you to work or perhaps, to lure her not to cry to school. Then why have men forgotten that she cometh from her mom? Instead, we emplace unsound actions, most at times in the ‘brain’s eye’ of a man; he would harbour a lofty winks and cheeky responses to outwit his wife’s shrewdness. The most heinous abhorrence in this 21st Century is to deny your wife her position and to earn a standing ovation from your myopic comrades for doing so.

After a sound rethought, most of the real gifts any woman would ever hanker from a man are a fond love, avoid enslaving her, attending to her needs and be a responsible man by taking into consideration any contention she may bring to fore. These are priceless but recurrent privileges that the modern man had lost track of. How would a flirtatious man behaved when he is married to a ‘nagging woman’? It would be sad and unrealistic; his cooperation in this relationship would be mean because his nerves would guesstimate that the woman is not ideal or too garrulous! I hate you, as it is famously said! The woman’s ploy would be the Schwarzenegger’s faction per the man. She would constantly witch-hunt any other woman he talks to, peeps through his phone, feel bad when she serves diner and the man does not consumes it, and she would probably police the man when he starts coming home late at night. The man would always get exasperated and at his worst misdemeanour, he would consider his wife as that “Poisonous Meat” on his soup, ‘you see’!

Until recently, the case that has triggered venomous spleens from social media handlers was the incident that got Ms. Akosua Sarfowaa; a five-month old pregnant woman into jail. News unfolded that her husband was a real Casanova who could not kept his eyes from other people’s meat, but was on the spree of pay-as-you-go! His wife reacted when she caught them in the scene and was more enraged when the lady wore her clothes; the bout which ensued betwixt herself and the rival got her sentenced to two years imprisonment. Yes, so the man is or would be happy to some extent because he could now enjoy free flow of goods! I do not understand why a woman who nags must perchance be a man’s poisonous meat! We know that the future of one’s children depend wholly on his wife after God. So if you want to succeed, you must get that nagging woman who would harass your thoughts, critique your ways to sanitize your ill-motives and even the right things you have not done yet! A nagging woman could save his husband from any mental derailment because she can act as the fortress against the devil and not as being perceived as men’s weakness! More so, she has the power of grooming their kids to be more successful than their dad. Austerity is tied to her because she could dissent her husband’s decision for investing in any shoddy deal which could plunge them to bankruptcy. She will definitely give you that push you require to galvanise and flesh your skeletal ideas. Nonetheless, when your wife nags about wordily affairs and her wrangle is to deprive you of the attainment of a goodly life, then she is a real poisonous meat!

Biblically, Prophet Ibrahim (as) and Sarah were engaged for over 100 years. The only time the obvious books mentioned that both of them doubted their ability is when they were told of bringing forth a progeny into the world. There was no technology at the time unlike the prevalence of iPhone, hangout and Facebook. The intrinsic value of their relationship is that anytime affection is being mentioned then get to know that our ancestors and their loved ones are inextricable. Perversely, Pharaoh’s approach to quench his wife’s (Asiya) whinnying was to crucify her. She was a ‘pious nagger’; because she had found truth in the message professed by Prophet Moses (as) and she affirmed her faith in God Almighty. If today, technology has presented us with all the privileges that even when you are away, you could still fraternise with your family back home, your thoughts are savage if you do not stop perceiving your wife as a nagger and thus, a poisonous meat! That is why today most marital homes are stumbling and on the brink of collapsing! If it is our wish that women should be quiet in times of need, ideally, women hate silence when it is time to talk! The first job for women on earth which has been endorsed by Allah since time immemorial is the “Home-Making Profession”. Have you ever asked yourself which university awards such degree? It is just natural, and because it demands no schooling, it is the prerogative of a woman to strategically mould it in their rightful sense how it would instil God’s tranquillity into the family. That is why nagging cannot be left out! And to modify it our elders have said that a woman who has no teeth is left to the lions. Are you expecting your wife to sing praises and hymns for you when she sees you strolling with thou fornicatress, and buying drinks for other women, meanwhile you are not the one who provides ‘chop-money’ at home! Consider if she is the one who fends for you!

Be grateful that your wife had God in heart, she is never the nagging type but being vociferous on a good course because you are not performing your duties at home. A nagging woman would put you on your toes than a reticent wife; whose first line of action would be broken heart and finally a divorce. It would be prudent if we grow up without emulating that self-acclaimed knowledgeable man who tested the depth of the water with both feet and the river drowned him.

The choice is ours!

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The Pride Of Virginity



The pride of virginity

Virginity is one of the most dignified properties of ours today, not only does it be a pride, but it also has spiritual warfare, social happiness and strength. Some societies even believe that, as a virgin, you are being protected spiritually from certain evils that might come on your way.

I personally think, psychologically, being a virgin makes the individual feels happy and have confidence in his or herself, others even go to the extent of saying that a lady who is not a virgin is not worth marrying. Even in some societies in the past, non-virgins were typically seen as unmarriageable and often forced into prostitution. In religion, it is well documented in scriptures, emphasis on chastity before marriage, and the all forms of immorality is emphatically lambasted, a pure example is the Virgin Mary, who was chaste and humble to her Lord, and today we still read and hear of her chaste life.

In my little research, people who are virgins are in a way humble, respectful and honest in their dealings, they are shy, they usually see whoever is older than them as someone who deserve respect, even those they are older than. Research and my observations show that, virgins most often than not have the fear of indulging in most acts that the society frowns against, of course, some virgins are contrary to most of these things I have mentioned, and that is not to suggest that people who are not virgins are the otherwise. But, today, one of the reason why we are facing much behavioral issues with ourselves is because we tend to lose our virginity too early than necessary, and once you lose this virginity, you are likely to be exposed to immoral behaviors like drinking, smoking, prostitution, disrespecting parents and others, if some of you can recall the day that you lose your virginity, it was like you lose your inner self, you don’t feel complete, and things do not look the same to you again, and that is where you see yourself as an adult that needs to be treated as such. You start demanding respect from people, you start to show disrespect to your parents, relatives and elders as well. You begin to feel shy of things that have no shame in them. And you feel the world is under your care, this weak thinking of you being an adult and do not want to be doing some things that will reduce your respect is normal anyway, this is because you have lost your virginity that was like a covering for you.

Please, do not get my write up wrong, it does not mean once you lose your virginity, you will definitely be arrogant, disrespectful and the other immoral acts, NO! My write up is a comparison between virginity and lost virginity, and their possibilities of getting involved in things that are immoral to God and man. Of course, being a virgin does not mean having a good character, those are parallel lines, but the bottom line is, being a virgin is a virtue which very few care to have. You should take pride, if you are a virgin reading this, or you were until marriage.

Big ups to all virgins, society is very bright by your presence.

Much love….

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